Gratitude

I have six weeks left in Florida.

So many things are happening inside and outside of me. I’m feeling everything all at once and sometimes I feel like it doesn’t phase me at all.

One thing that has become incredibly tangible is how much I’m going to miss my internship site. How much I’m going to miss working with my clients. How thankful I am for the opportunities I’ve had to know these people, join them in their journeys, and help in the ways I knew how to.

Today was a strangely emotional day for me. I wasn’t expecting it to be, but for some reason I found myself getting misty eyed a few times. They were all for various reasons, but I think it was mostly just this feeling of intense gratitude. This feeling that I love what I do so much and it gives me such an deep sense of purpose, that I am just so thankful for where I have come in my life.

As a counselor, it’s a weird moment when you realize your client feels you were integral in their major life change. I instinctively want to give all of the credit to my client, because it truly is all on the client. I know as well as anyone that I can’t actually change someone, but to have someone tell you that they will remember the impact you had in their life when they are 50 years old… that’s something that I will remember when I am 50 years old.

I went into counseling to change my life and I ended up getting so much more out of it than I ever thought possible. I am thankful that I took that step so many years ago, because that moment of sheer terror has resulted in so much joy, I look back on that moment sitting in front of my counselor fondly, no matter how sad I felt.

My heart could burst, I feel so blessed.

Author: Jennifer Bingaman Mazur

I like writing about what I think about what I think. I also like writing about what other people think and what I think about that. Yes? Yes.

8 thoughts on “Gratitude”

  1. This is beautiful, Jen. It’s a purely wonderful thing to love what you do. And an even more wonderful thing to recognize that. You’re such a lovely person, jelly bean! Glad I get to be your friend.

  2. I went straight to being a stay at home mom after graduating. I often still think about some of my clients, specifically some I was with for a year before graduating. They were in a long-term residential facility so I had the same ones (almost all of them) for the entire time. It was very difficult to leave and I still miss them, although that might be a testament to my “freshness” as a counselor, if not anything else.

    This is a blessed profession. It challenges us emotionally, mentally, and spiritually and helps us grow as individuals. To be a position that encourages all of that is so humbling.

    Can’t wait to see what kind of wonderful things you continue to do after leaving FL! :)

    1. I don’t think I’ll ever truly burnout because I love what I do so much, although that could be the recipe for burnout – we’ll see. I hope that “freshness” in us never goes away. Thank you! I can’t wait to see what happens outside of FL. :)

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