In my experience, a good majority of us have amplified emotions. Some of us get so sad we’re depressed. Some of us get so scared we’re constantly anxious. Some of us just get angry. We flip our shiz before we know what has happened. In my personal opinion, I think anger is one of the more dangerous emotions. When you’re sad or anxious, you really only jeopardize your well-being. When you’re angry, you jeopardize yourself and very often you endanger others around you.
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Subway workers lose their arms because of improper cheese triangle placement and things just get messy.
The problem with anger is that it’s generally a more socially accepted emotion. Think about how many times you’ve seen or heard someone say to their kids or friends, “STOP CRYING,” and you’ll know why anger is so common. Especially in men, anger is reinforced. Little boys are taught by society and their families that crying is for sissies.
So we grow up with men who get angry instead of sad. In certain ways anger is a good emotion. It can be healthy. If someone has done something crappy to you, you might be entitled to be pissed. The difference is in how we handle our anger. For example, if we get violent or if we say incredibly hurtful things to the ones we love, then anger is not productive. Anger sets us back.
Since I’m primarily CBT, I look at the origin of things. What thoughts is a person having that would cause them to feel angry?
Turns out, much like anxiety, anger is rooted in fear. It’s a different kind of fear though. This fear is one found in vulnerability. When we get angry, it is because we feel we’ve been trespassed and exposed. It’s a complicated emotion because it is so often tied in with others’ actions. More often than not, we have to react to others’ behaviors to be pushed into anger. It is an inward frustration that is outwardly projected. Whether it’s vulnerability over being let down by someone we trusted or anger because someone didn’t do the dishes, we feel violated at our core. We feel shame with ourselves for making such a stupid mistake as to let ourselves be vulnerable and we get scared because we let it happen.
In all honesty, I’m not an expert at this emotion. I wanted to understand more about it, so I did the research and I thought I’d share it with you all.
Does my explanation make sense?
Do you have any experiences trying to be more or less angry in your life?
How terrible do you feel that someone actually tackled a horse? I’ll admit, I was upset and flabbergasted.
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